Naked With Socks On
Love & Marriage
For some odd reason, I was thinking about Martin Lawrence’s old sitcom, Martin, and how it related to love and marriage. In season 2, episode 18, Martin was faced with the prospect of Gina leaving him for a job out of town. Standing in her empty apartment moments before she left to catch her flight, Martin so eloquently proposed to her with these famous words: “Okay, baby, you plotted and you schemed and… clank-clank, you finally got me, Gina. Okay, fine. Gina, I-will-marry-you. Damn, I mean are you happy now?”
They were the words of a man beaten down and boxed in. See, despite Martin’s many flaws, he was still a good man deep down inside and truly did love Gina, but for some reason he just wasn’t ready for marriage. Still, Gina wanted more than living in sin and usually forced the issue of marriage upon him. After years/seasons of being bombarded with the age-old question of, “Where are we going with this relationship?” ol’ Marty Mar finally broke down. But is a broken down man what Gina really wanted? Hardly.
Martin’s fucked up proposal was evidence of that. He was not a man consumed by the beauty of love or in a state of constant euphoria. If so, he would have welcomed the idea of “living happily ever after.” Instead, he felt pressured and forced into making a decision that he forecasted for his future, but not his present. It took time, but Martin finally got to where he needed to be and was eventually able to make an honest woman out of Gina. It may have taken longer than it should have but at least they reached that blissful final destination together.
See, men are like wild horses. Sure, you can throw a lasso around a wild horse, put a saddle on it and break down its spirit in an effort to domesticate it. But in doing so you lose some of the spark in the horse’s eye that initially attracted you to it. And more than likely, that horse will always dream of freedom. But if you get a wild horse to come to you willingly and submit to you whole-heartedly in a mutual relationship then that is true bliss. Because the ability to make your own decision-or at least feel like you made it-is one of the joys of life, while submitting to coercion usually comes at the expense of one’s own sense of self.
So if you see a wild horse that you wouldn’t mind riding off into the sunset with, you have to decide if you want a tamed beast or a willing partner. But if you decide to try and break its spirit, just ask yourself, Damn, am I happy now?
MARTIN’S F’ED UP PROPOSAL
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Very interesting story that provides truth. It was evident that Martin wasn’t ready for marriage at the time he proposed but sometimes people do things they aren’t ready for to prevent a negative outcome.
> Derik Bridgette
it was good timing for Martin to ask Gina to Marry him because if he didn’t he probably would have lost the opportunity to. Some men know when they get into a relationship they want to end it with marriage. Other men go into a relationship and just see’s where it takes them. Martin seemed like he was ready for marriage but at the same time he wasn’t, he wasn’t ready to let go of the life of not being officially tied down for life.
> Kameron Brown
the MArtin show was basically a comedy and Drama. Martin show was a show that had real life situations and basically stay intuned with everyday life and slang termanology. Asking gina to marry him was actually a good move for Martin cause they been boyfriend and girlfriend and lover for sometime so i thought it was good timing as well.
> Delonte Davis
Martin is one of the greatest sitcoms and i still watch the rerun till this day.Behind every great man is a great woman. However, Martin is the example of what men really think about being shackeled up and married. Gina left him and he was left looking stupid in a dark room. Just as if it was reality, if a a real woman left her man behind and she was a good woman, he would really look dumb at the end of he day just like Martin at the end of that season.
> Courtney Barnett
This article has some truth behind it. In my own opinion i wouldn’t want no man to submit to me because i want him to. I want him to come to me willingly and ready. Its nothing worse than having a man commit to that next stage and he’s not ready. That’s when early divorce comes in the picture or better yet another women. I personally would’nt want a beaten down man because he’s no good to me. I like a challange and it’s more exciting that way.
> ronesha strickland
Me being a fan of the sitcom i remember that episode very well. I think that they made a great comparison with that metaphore and a lot of people need to hear that and really understand that. i understand it because i am going through somthing similar and now i feel the need to pass it on.
> Eric Shields
Martin Laweerance show was the perfect show to explain love and marriage.Gina and Martin were a perfect kind. they came from two different worlds but they made though. I think the article is very intersing and true. If you love someone no matter what they did in the past or how there runing around. Catch them..i think if you want them you should go get them .Make them yours.Marriage and love is everything.Without it..whats life?
> tia barksdale
The “Martin” show was actually a very power sitcom. For once black people were portraying true love in a comical fasion. Even though love dose not discriminate aginst race or creed it is something that we as a race need to achive. More fathers less baby daddies.
> Dorian Brooks
I agree 100%. Martin was not ready to live the rest of his life with Gina, or maybe he was. Maybe he was scared. Men are different from women emotionally, some of us don’t express our feelings verbally, leaving our partners to interpret how we really feel from our actions. This can definitely be a very confusing thing. For example, when a woman breaks up with a man, he might respond to it by claiming that he doesn’t care. We all know this wouldn’t be true, because he wouldn’t have been with her in the first place if he didn’t care about her and wouldn’t suffer through the break up. So instead of doing the emotionally mature thing, and expressing openly how he feels to the person he claims to love and care about, he’ll appear to be apathetic. Then he’ll play the “break up games” such as calling you constantly, bashing you when he does see you or talk to you, and playing mind games such as telling you that he is ready to commit to a succesfull relationship, and then turn right back around and contradicts that with his words or actions. This is their way of expressing how they feel because men, at least in the black community, are taught not to show weakness and expressing feelings is seen as weak. Of course, not all men are like this but alot are. This explains Martin’s weak proposal, that i’m sure hurt Gina even more and made her doubt his sincerity. To be different from this, I pride myself in open communication and do not find it weak, yet empowering to be connected enough with my feelings and emotions to be able to express myself efficiently in order to avoid those “break up games”.
> Ronald Jackson
I agree that pressure is not good for a relationship, but without comprise a relationship is doomed.
> Christina Saunders
I would rather want a someone be willing to be with me just as much as I am willing to be with them. Things like this go 2 ways…I do not always wanna feel like im pushing for something the other person does not want. Luckily, for Martin he proposed the right way and remebered why he loved Gina….I always like happy endings. I like that episode too
> Mykell
I like how we all talk the talk but when it comes down to it you do exactly the opposite. I agree with the article totally. Ive been in enopugh relationships to know. In all honesty, if you r willing to submit without being pushed thats great but what if you are a person that needs that push? You could be waitin forever and who wants that? Some of us dont submit easily because of whatever reason. Some of us need to be tamed aggressively, some of us need that PUSH like Martin did. Im not sayin its right but I am saying know what your getting yourself into before you try and commit time the to “horse”. All wild horses may look like they have potential but looks can be decieving. All im saying is not all wild horses will submit easily some need extra attention.
> Rainier Bishop
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