THE DANCE FLOOR WHERE CULTURES COLLIDE

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 As co-lead vocalist in one of Connecticut’s hottest and most popular R&B/Motown/Soul cover bands, the Bernadettes [www.the bernadettes.com], a band with a huge following and interactive style, I have seen quite a bit in my almost two years with this 7-man unit. With all my years of performing experience, one would think I was well prepared for what happened to me about a month ago, at a club in metropolitan New Haven. Well….not quite. Picture yourself in Wallingford, Connecticut, a town not known for its racial tolerance, well known for resisting the King Holiday observance, or, as my drummer friend would say, ‘KKK’, big-time, playing in a club dominated by Caucasians, with a few minorities sprinkled in. We are a mixed-race band [3 Black, 4 White], with a huge white following doing music made primarily by African- American artists. You can imagine the many built in subplots here, and to say the least, it is a most interesting dynamic.

    About a month ago, we played the club to another packed house. Music, drink, and women flowed freely, and we did the damn thing as we usually do, at times venturing out onto the dance floor to dance with the many lovely ladies that always outnumber the men….nice. This is how we do it, and it has cemented our popularity in this region. Bernadettes’ shows are a happening. The frontmen are in close contact with the listeners and dancers, and as I stated previously, this can create some interesting scenarios. However, this is not about the women who have tried to undress me while I was singing. Rather, this is a disturbing account of how lack of communication can destroy a good thing.

     On that night, I recall hanging out with a gorgeous lady friend of mine, who came with some of her co-workers. One of the ladies was feeling reeeeeal nice, and it reflected in her dancing, so being the man I am, as well as entertainer I’ve become in this band, I indulged her. Let’s face it, I LOVE being up front, physical, personal with these ladies, but it never crosses that line between us….unless there is intent. Well on this night, intent was in the air, but I did not pursue it, and as I found out it was a good thing.

     Five days later, yes five whole days, I found out from a band member that the management was annoyed with me for something that no one wanted to identify. Not them, not my bandmates [the ones that knew kept it from me, and had no intentions of telling me what went down]. After confronting the source and not getting a concrete answer, I went proactive, contacted the club myself, asked to discuss the problem with them, and even offered not to perform there when we returned the following month. I also told them I would not allow my name to be dragged through the mud. This is what would had happened if I hadn’t spoken up. I would have been the flashpoint in an escalating situation that had me performing before people scrutinizing me for reasons unrelated to music, as I sing my ass off, totally aware of the set-up. My bandmates in the Bernadettes are really nice guys, so while there was no malice on their part, the feeling was that this was something that should be swept under the rug. No. Not this brother. My name was on this, and a similar incident came up awhile back where some guy complained that the singer[which one?] was trying to pick up his fiancé. In all probability, his liquored-up fiancé was probably all over me. I’m too busy trying to execute a song, and entertain folk to attempt to pick someone up, and if a lady is with a guy, I respectfully keep my distance, even when some of these guys offer their ladies to us. [for dancing, of course]

      Let’s put this in its proper context. Wallingford, Connecticut, generally known as a town not friendly to African-Americans. Me, a Black man, 6′2”, 190 lbs, with presence, in a mixed band, with women of another color at times all over me. In this environment, that is unnerving to the many closet racists in this state, or as my mother always said “Up South”. Trust me, I was born in Georgia, so I know what time it is. There are perceptions created by people out of ignorance, and this was a classic case, the ‘Mandingo’ complex revisited. I have dealt with these references in small doses over the years, so I know these asinine stereotypes still exist. Most of all this taught me that life’s lessons are eternal, and no matter how much we know, we are given refresher courses.

      This brings me to my folks, my people; when the Bernadettes are playing to packed houses, where the hell are you? In this part of the country, we talk a damn good game, and even after being led to the water, we still don’t drink. I like to say that you gotta bring some people the meal, but then, you have to spoon-feed them. Or are we just so obsessed with being ‘up in da club’, or some local saloon with a DJ killing your eardrums, that we have totally forgotten the beauty of live music. It has got to be a location thing, for in other locations, we do represent. I know people that will, but the trick is to get them out the first time, and then getting them to go beyond the city limits. The lack of support is what defines Bridgeport, Connecticut. One would think that in the largest city in the state, people would want some culture, culture that they know. Most of my bandmates cannot relate to my frustrations because they don’t come from where I do culturally. It is an exercise in futility to tell people about what you do, and where you’re doing it, and they still don’t show. In fact, a friend of mine has told various people for years that he got me started singing, an absolute fabrication, although he did inspire me along the way. 25 years later, dude has yet to hear me live. Let me record an albums and watch the vapors flow. Some of us get out and have a good time….some of us talk about it at the corner bar. I am looking forward to performing in my hometown of Bridgeport with the Bernadettes soon, if only for the fact that most people ain’t leaving here…..Well, I will be leaving, moving from here soon, I can’t imagine most urban areas having this problem, but I know that most states have a Bridgeport, if not a similar mentality. Support live music and the arts….you’ll be glad you did.

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