Yes We Can...No They Can't

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November 4, 2008, was an historic night for African-Americans in the United States of America.  The vast majority of us, with purpose, and conviction, marched into a voting booth, and selected what we felt was best for this great country.  With the strength of our faiths guiding us, and a clear picture of America as we feel it should be, we turned out in record numbers to be a part of a movement that will change the lives of thousands of our fellow citizens.

With a spring in our step, and tears in our eyes, reminiscing on the not so distant past when we would not have been able to cast our votes, when we were considered 3/5’s human, when we were hung, and beaten, raped, and jailed, simply because of…being; with our ancestors sacrifices embedded in our brains, with our hopes, and dreams, and wishes stripped naked for the world to see, with a sense of dignified righteousness, African-Americans shouted, “YES WE CAN!” and we voted for change.

Yes, we voted for an astoundingly pious, hypocritical change.

As we celebrated how far the fight for civil rights has come in this country, we voted to eliminate basic human rights for gay Americans by supporting Proposition 8, eliminating the rights of same-sex couples to marry.

How quickly we forget.

Seventy percent of African-Americans in the state of California decided to render judgment of gay people based on their own skewed, individual moral compass.

Seventy percent of us decided that only a marriage between a man and a woman should, and would be valid, and recognized.

This means, that obviously, 70% of us have forgotten our painful history, when our basic rights were in the hands of white America, and we had to be content with whatever morsel of humanity that was thrown our way.

Let me make one thing very clear:  I understand the conviction of one’s faith, specifically, the Christian faith.  I am aware of Leviticus 18:22, which states: “Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind: it is abomination”. However, it has bee n theorized, based on the era in which Leviticus wrote those words, that his intent was not to convey intolerance of same-sex marriage, but to convey the intolerance of homosexual ritual sex in pagan temples.  From Genesis to Judges; from Deuteronomy to Kings; from Romans to Timothy; from Corinthians to Jude, a plethora of homosexual behavior is condemned, ranging from homosexual bestiality, to men that molest adolescent boys.  But nowhere in the Bible is a monogamous same-sex marriage even mentioned, let alone, condemned. So, then, who are we to judge?  Isn’t that God’s occupation?  Did Jesus not proclaim, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”?

This was simply an un-informed, selfish display of petty power. A chance to say to gay Americans, “We don’t like you, we don’t understand you, and you are not allowed to have the same rights we have.”

Does that sound familiar?

African-Americans had to fight just for the constitutional right to vote, and we still face unfair minority voter suppression. Yet, on the day we elected the first African-American president, and cheered the symbolic victory that represents; we decided to strip an entire community of one basic, human right: The right to marry the people they love. That is not democracy.  That is one group of people forcing their individual beliefs into the lives of others that just want to be left the hell alone.  Is this how far we, as a country, have degenerated?

Stripping gay and lesbian Americans of their right to marry is not protecting the sanctity of marriage, as some people suggest; it cheapens it by placing prejudiced, unnecessary restrictions on it.  With 50% of marriages ending in divorce, with children being forced into marriage because of unplanned pregnancies, with infidelity on the rise among men and women, with people marrying for financial purposes, and even more relevant, to hide the fact that they are homosexual in an extremely hostile society, with all these marriag es occurring for the wrong reasons, we voted to ban marriages that were occurring for the right one: love.

I implore those brethren that voted in support of this ban to realize what you have done.  You have said to gay America,”You are not worthy for your love to be recognized.”  There is a stigma attached to homosexuality in the African-American community, this is clear. Our men are expected to be strong, masculine, with a sexuality that is one of myth. So, to envision these men engaging in an activity that, by accepted standards, is less than masculine, is a hard pill for some people to swallow.  For those people, I have one statement that may help you come to terms with these feelings:  It is not your business.

In this country, it is illegal to discriminate based on race, religion, sex, or creed.  Why is same-sex marriage an exception?  It is one thing for your personal religious beliefs (or homophobia disguised as religious beliefs) to condemn gay marriage; it’s another situation entirely to take away a civil liberty based on those beliefs.

Being against this ban in no way suggests one supports gay marriage; it simply means one understands that it is an individual choice, and a civil liberty that should be allowed all Americans, regardless of sexual orientation.  The question was not whether it was theoretically right or wrong; but whether to define marriage, by law, in a way that discriminates against a major sub-set of this society. And 70% of African-Americans voted yes.

For the first time in my life, I am truly embarrassed by my people. We should know better.  We should know how it feels to be hated, stereo-typed, and denied basic human rights. We should remember a time when slaves’ marriages weren’t recognized, because they were considered property, and property doesn’t have the same rights as owners. We should remember a time when we were considered second-class citizens by mere virtue of our birth.20We should have empathized with a group of people that don’t care if you agree with them, just don’t take away their right to know the joy of waking up beside their loved ones and saying, “Hello, Husband.” “Hello, Wife.” We should have known better than to become perpetuators of the very same ignorance and discrimination we’ve fought against for generations.

When we place our hands over our hearts, and proudly speak these words, “…with liberty, and justice for all,” We shouldn’t silently add: Unless you’re black, unless you’re a woman, unless you’re gay…unless you’re different. That is not equality. That is not America.  The line separating church and state has become severely blurred, and heinous displays of bigotry in the name of religion have manifested because of this narrow-mindedness.

The shine illuminating the historic election of President-elect Obama has been tarnished for me by the rust that is reality.  The over-whelming20African-American support for this divisive, prejudiced proposition has placed a weight of association on my shoulders that is extremely difficult to bear.  I want to scream when I watch the pundits debate the reasons, and ramifications of this black verdict on gay America, “It wasn’t me!”  At no other time in my life have I understood how some white people feel when they are inundated with negativity pertaining to slavery.  The need to defend, and explain the hearts of others’ is like an itch in my soul; but I can only be responsible for myself.

Though 70% of African-Americans voted yes on 8, we represented only a fraction of the voters that pushed the proposition through. This means that the brunt of the blame that is being placed on our communities for it passing is mis-guided. The socially conservative ideology of many Americans over 65, as well as white evangelicals was the driving force behind the unfortunate success on 8. However, if African-Americans had voted no on the proposition with the same extraordinary show of support that was shown Obama, the proposition would have failed by a very slim margin. Simply put: Our actions did not pass 8, but our ina ction determined the outcome. Does this mean we, as a people, should take full responsibility for this abortion of justice? No, it does not.  But it does mean we should cease attempting to justify the embarrassing truth of our passive-aggressive show of intolerance, and share in the blame.

So, to my gay and lesbian brothers and sisters: I apologize for your pain. During a time when we stood shoulder to shoulder, together, in the trenches campaigning for President-elect Obama, you had every reason to believe that this would be an historic election in more ways than one, but it was not. It was a night when civil rights took one step forward, then one step back. Because we did not show up for you.  This election should have been a signal that real change was coming to America; instead it highlighted that the focus of illegal discrimination had just changed targets.

We, as a people, must remember these words, and apply them to these circumstances:  The master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. -Audre Lorde

Hate will not dismantle hate.  Prejudice will not dismantle prejudice. Ignorance will not dismantle ignorance. Inequality will not dismantle inequality.  Using these tools as a way to extinguish the rights of gay America, is an exact replication of the actions used to keep us oppressed for so long; and infringing on the rights of others’, will never ensure our own.

Love should be allowed to flourish, and grow, without the unfair dictates of society. Deciding how, or with whom, one chooses to love has never been our right; and the fact that on November 4, 2008, we did just that is now our shame. Whether one supports same-sex marriage, or not:
The voting booth is not the place to play God.

This story is filed under: Lifestyle

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