Is Bruce Bowen's "Left Wing" Policy Dangerous?

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Policy has shifted towards a radical referendum by basketball players who need entry into the lane in San Antonio, Texas. The new mandate is to impeach Bruce Bowen.

On the western front in May 2008 during the theater of playoff battle, Phoenix Sun Amare Stoudemire, the Republi-stratosphero-can, was allegedly kicked purposely in the back of his achilles by Bowen. The heel! When questioned, Bowen puts his arms up in mock surrender and said, “I’m not the guerilla ‘ball-farer’ your making me out to be, I’m actually a man that forces players to the left wing, and that is in the tradition of the office of man-to-man principals in the Association of Basketball Nationalism.” He then ran back to defend, avoiding the minefield of fouls and techs by keeping his mouth closed and his legs and arms moving.

The principals of private “lane” property rights, invisible “hand” principals, and “homecourt” security policy have been traditionally owned by the right wing. Now, Bowen has the Republi-stratsophero-can party worried about their space – primarily their individual ability to score points and secure long-term contracts – smokecoded as “Dick Cheneyism” – the symbol of the new “Offense Contract.”

We’re talking long-term, pork-barrel business in the Association of Basketball Nationalism here, and Bowen is a security threat.

Allen Iverson, the offensively neo-Republi-stratosphero-can and former Denver Nugget, fell to left wing sentiment during Bruce’s primary appearance in the 2007 Playoffs in San Antonio, when Bowen stepped on Iverson’s heel! Needless to say, Bowen’s tactics were ruining the regular season Republi-stratosphero-can party ideology of transition offense, and according to the popular bloging sentiment of the general “fan-dome,” the behavior merited impeachment due to the destruction of civil dribble-drive liberties. One youtube had a picture of Bowen’s jersey with a pile of dirt where the head should be with the caption – “Dirty Player.”

At stake: the 94′ by 50′ hardwood of the basketball republic. At a crisis level, Republi-stratosphero-can party stars met at 1:00 am at the Pole-Danceteria fundrasier hosted by LaRuss Nissoms, the former CEO of Jam DriveBy Records, a big lobbyist for the get-over-on-your-mans-and-thems mentality that the party’s platform has pushed for the last 8 years.

During the event, there was no deviation of party policy, offense was toasted and celebrated and the left wing foe was vilified and schemed on. The host raised the roof, set it on fire, and watched family values burn. The insurance rider of the space came into question when the legs of the party stars were not fully-functional the night after the fundraiser, however, the no-trade policy brokered by General Motion, the player’s lobbyist advisory management team, had Sen-coach-ators of the Association of Basketball Nationalism privately complaining about “everything coming to a standstill because our leaders have no legs, no transition rhythm.”

They publicly blasted the no-bailout “referee-union” policy as unsafe, and pointed to the Steve Nash – Robert Horry terrorist incident that caused tactical displacement among key personnel during the 2007 playoffs (Spurs vs Suns). Phoenix’s right wing momentum came to a grinding halt when their best big man, Amare Stoudemire, was suspended for leaving the bench “aggressively” during an altercation. Stoudemire didn’t touch a soul, but once his foot hit the court, he caught an automatic suspension.

As Bowen’s case came to review, the right winger’s statements were taken. Amare called Bowen “a dirty player, and implied that Tim Duncan “passively” left the bench and wasn’t suspended which was unfair.” Iverson remained silent, his incident not under review but nonetheless on the national radar. Horry, a left-winger, came in with the “Hard foul with a purpose statement,” and then he smiled like a cheshire cat.

Judge Stu Jackson of the Association of Basketball Nationalism was called to review the tape and came up with the verdict: Rules are rules, “left wing policy” is settled on the court, unions are in place for the safety and protection of all parties involved, and we are not involved in the “smokecoded” contractual discussions, just enforcement of the on-court rules.

The lesson: If you’re a star player, stay on the bench during altercations until you can rip leftwing policy like Kobe did in 2005-2006. See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvh9kEwekY8

Both the Nuggets and the Suns went down to the working-class referendum that is the San Antonio Spurs, one of the best group defending teams in the world.

Now we ask in an “exit poll:” Do you think the NBA should change their policy of throwing players out of games if they get up, leave the bench and don’t touch any other players during an on-court incident?

This story is filed under: 45 Degrees of Blackness, Sports